Post by Joel on Jun 1, 2005 9:52:46 GMT
Hi All
As I'm sure a lot of you have now heard I have lost my Job. My employers just wern't happy with me looking for other work. As a result I am now totally skint and need money for equipment and riding. To raise funds I have decided to Rrent My Ass.
It has been scientifically proven that "the skill of a good Street Luger comes from his/her Ass. Wide, round, but firm cheeks are best, while skinny, narrow, flat ones (Like rider Ben Bewley's) are far less effective."
My Ass is in good working condition and has a race proven history. Improve your skills, go faster, corner better and show off to your friends. Rent My Ass!
You can book your turn now for just £50* per hour
For those of you who can't make the trip to see me, I can visit you for the cost of travel**.
I will also be setting up a stand at Gurston and Scammonden where you can get a piece of me for just £30* per 1/2 hour. Book now for Scammonden and get a free gift of your choice.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Terms and conditions: *Payment must be made up front along with a £20 security deposit. Damage not considered "normal" ware and tear will result in the loss of you deposit. My Ass is hired for alotted rental periods. Late returns will charged to the end of the next rental period. **Travel expences are charged at 40 pence per mile. My Ass should not be used at hights of more than 4", doing so will invalidate the warrenty and could result in severe injury. My Ass is not for rent during race qualifications, heats and finals unless otherwise advertised. Prices, travel expences and rental periods are subject to change.
Joel "Mincer" King
P.S. Being unemployed also makes you very bored.
As I'm sure a lot of you have now heard I have lost my Job. My employers just wern't happy with me looking for other work. As a result I am now totally skint and need money for equipment and riding. To raise funds I have decided to Rrent My Ass.
It has been scientifically proven that "the skill of a good Street Luger comes from his/her Ass. Wide, round, but firm cheeks are best, while skinny, narrow, flat ones (Like rider Ben Bewley's) are far less effective."
My Ass is in good working condition and has a race proven history. Improve your skills, go faster, corner better and show off to your friends. Rent My Ass!
You can book your turn now for just £50* per hour
For those of you who can't make the trip to see me, I can visit you for the cost of travel**.
I will also be setting up a stand at Gurston and Scammonden where you can get a piece of me for just £30* per 1/2 hour. Book now for Scammonden and get a free gift of your choice.
Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Terms and conditions: *Payment must be made up front along with a £20 security deposit. Damage not considered "normal" ware and tear will result in the loss of you deposit. My Ass is hired for alotted rental periods. Late returns will charged to the end of the next rental period. **Travel expences are charged at 40 pence per mile. My Ass should not be used at hights of more than 4", doing so will invalidate the warrenty and could result in severe injury. My Ass is not for rent during race qualifications, heats and finals unless otherwise advertised. Prices, travel expences and rental periods are subject to change.
Joel "Mincer" King
P.S. Being unemployed also makes you very bored.